Winter is an appalling time of year. Dark. Cold. Around here, windy.
This year, I have the special treat of studying up for my professional boards. I started hitting the books – and the websites – around the middle of November, and I’ve been at it virtually every day since. This has come perilously close to being a second job.
As I’ve realized about myself, I am terrified of failure. These last months, I’ve poured myself into preparation; if I fail, it will hurt. I will have done my best, and my best will have been Not Good Enough. Gulp.
Part of me wants to say that this will be good for my character – growth, learning, being a better person. Oh, please, hold this bucket while I puke. There’s nothing noble about failing. It just means more work up ahead.
But if that does happen, I will survive.